Funny for a Friday

So some of you may have heard this one before - but it made me laugh, so i had to share it.

A mother takes her 5 year old son with her to the bank on a busy Friday. They get into line behind a rather obese lady wearing a business outfit complete with a pager. As the mother waits patiently her son looks at the women in front of him and observes loudly, "Hey, Mom, she's fat." At which the lady looks at the boy, makes eye contact with the mother and gives an understanding smile. The mother quietly reprimands her son. After a minute or two the boy spreads his hands as far as they will go and loudly says, "I bet her butt is THAT wide." At this the lady glares at the little boy and his mother and the embarrassed mother severely scolds her son. Again after a couple of minutes the boy states loudly, "Look how the fat hangs over her belt." The lady turns and tells the mother to control her rude child and the mother threatens him with his very life and existence. Things in the bank are quiet. The lady gets to the front of the line when her pager begins to emit its distinctive tone at which the little boy yells in panic at the top of his voice, "Run for your life Mom, she's backing up!!!!"

Apparantly Farrah was hungry...

Okay...
So in Farrah - my focus - i have a 6 CD changer - very awesome! I was driving home from work on Friday afternoon and pushed CD #1 - I didn't want to listen to the cd that was in there - so i ejected it and put in another one! I guess something didn't agree with that CD that day - although i have listened to it a thousand times!! It started making this awful sound! Eechh eechh eechh so of course i immediately pushed the eject button - but nothing! so it was quiet for a second - like it was thinking about loading the cd - and it started again!!! Eechh eechh eechh!!! So i tried ejecting it again - nothing!! So i pushed CD #2 - and it played fine - but then - the little CD #1 icon - WENT BLANK!! THAT'S RIGHT!!! BLANK!!! Like there was no cd in the slot!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!!!! So i pushed CD #1 - says NO CD... FANTASTIC!!!!!!!! So i loaded another cd in the #1 slot!! NO PROBLEM!!!!!

So now i have a CD just floating around in 'car space'....

I'm not gonna bother taking Farrah into the shop - unless this problem persists - for Pete's sake!! It'll cost me 100 bucks for an hours worth of labor - when i can get the cd for 20!!! i guess i'll wait for birthday money...

Dear Visitors

...It is my great pleasure to welcome you to my humble factory.

And who am I?

Well...

Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka,
The amazing chocolatier.
Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka,
Everybody give a cheer!
HOORAY!
He's modest, clever and so smart
He barely can restrain it
With so much generosity
There is no way to contain it!
To contain it! To contain, to contain, to contain!
HOORAY!
Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka,
He's the one that you're about to meet
Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka,
He's the genius who just can't be beat
The magician and the chocolate wiz
The best darn guy who ever lived
Willy Wonka, here he is!


Wasn't that just magnificent?

Chuck Norris Facts

I know, i know...by the title, you are probably asking yourself - what the heck is Val blogging about now!!! Well I'll tell you.

When i got to work this morning, one of the guys from the shop handed me a couple pieces of paper and said - read this. So i did...They were Chuck Norris Facts. LOL...Absolutely hilarious. So i visited the website - www.chucknorrisfacts.com - and so I decided to share with you my favorite Chuck Norris Facts. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.



1. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
2. There is no chin under Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
3. Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.
4. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
5. Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
6. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
7. What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.
8. Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
9. A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
10. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
11. The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
12. Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
13. Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
14. Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
15. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
16. Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.
17. When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
18. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
19. Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
20. In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
21. Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
22. Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
23. Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
24. Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
25. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
26. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
27. Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.
28. Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
29. A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer
30. Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.
31. Chuck Norris was what Willis was talkin' about.
32. Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
33. Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time.
34. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
35. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
36. July 4th is Independence day. And the day Chuck Norris was born. Coincidence? i think not.
37. Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires.
38. They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.
39. One time, at band camp, Chuck Norris ate a percussionist.
40. The pen is mighter than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris.

Okay...had enough yet?? I think 40 is enough! But please go to that website and have a laugh!

My new office

I just thought i would share with you a couple pictures of my new office... It's pretty nice - at least they aren't white walls!

Here's my desk... got everything I need - computer, phone, my organizer!

Here is my favorite part of my desk - My 3 most favorite things:
Radio - music,
Palm trees,
and
lotion! I always need my lotion!!!



And now for the best part! The view!
Here is the view from my office door...



haha... Just joking - it's not the best part...but it really is my view.

Back from the Happiest Place on Earth!!!

So I said I'd tell you about the trip to California and show you pictures, so here is my summary of our trip!

We had such a great weekend (well 6 days) - the only downfall is - I hate flying. My poor body just does not enjoy it at all! And now I'm feeling very tired and sickly. But hopefully I'll be over that soon.

Thursday Mom and Dad met us (me & Bonnie) at LAX, where we headed off to visit some family - 3 hours north.It was really beautiful there, lots of vineyards and orchards...Trees blooming - it was lovely. This is a picture from the front door of where we were staying - we were basically in the foothills - beautiful! just beautiful!


Here is me and Bonnie in front of an orange tree...






Then Friday we drove to Fresno/Clovis and looked around town. We found a really neat Antique store - spent a good hour there - soo many cool things!! We went to our cousins wedding rehearsel and dinner that evening.

Saturday was the big day, so we got all dressed up
and headed for the wedding.
It was such a beautiful ceremony. Here is a picture of my family - well minus Andrew (he was in Mexico).

By 3 that afternoon we were pretty much ready to head to Disneyland!!! We were sooo excited! It was a good 4 hour drive - a stressful drive - thank goodness for my dad - he did all the driving (basically b/c he had to) - but he's such a good driver!!! Even if he doesn't enjoy doing it! Thank goodness also to Monty - our GPS that dad rented for their trip! - thee best invention in the world! (We named him Monty b/c we were driving a Monte Carlo.) Awh, he became part of the family.

So when we arrived in Anaheim - we got settled in the hotel and Bonnie and I were off to Downtown Disney. We checked out the stores and that kind of thing.

Sunday morning came - Bonnie and I were up with the birds! We were out of the hotel room by 7:15!!! We went and had breafast at McDonald's!! HAHA! I know - go all the way to LA just to have breakfast at McDonald's! It was very good.


And we made it - even in the rain - to the Disneyland park gates before 8! The above picture is us just inside the gates!!! The first ride we did was the Buzzlightyear ride! It was tons of fun. I had never done it before! I really enjoyed it! I beat Bonnie good that time! We also did the Matterhorn Bobsled ride for the first time - did it once, never have to do it again...But i can totally understand how people have died on that ride - lol, *sigh* - it was sooo bumpy and rough! But at least we can say we've done it! We got lots of other rides done before the crowds picked up. We met Mom & Dad for lunch (who had already spent 2 days at the park only 4 days earlier - WE WERE SHOCKED AND DISMAYED - LOL) and did some more rides with them. That afternoon we also saw the "Parade of Dreams" parade. It was really nice...And the cotton candy was delish! Below are a few pics of the parade.




That evening we saw the "Remember...Dreams Come True" fireworks display. It was really quite wonderful.



We did a couple more rides and were back in our glorious
hotel room at the Disneyland Hotel by 11:15.

We all had an amazing night's sleep and we were all out of the house and in front of "It's A Small World" (which to my dismay I did ride - LOL - and I almost enjoyed it) before 8 AM. We went to Toontown where we met Mickey Mouse, Dale & Chip. Chip was soo cute - he came up to me and gave me a big kiss and hug! Here's Mickey's house -
We rode Gadget's Go Coaster - it was fun. And then walked all the way to California Adventure by 10 for opening of the rides! We wanted to get to the new Monster's Inc. ride before the park got busy! It was really cute and fun!
Here's a pic of me with Sully and Boo from the movie!! lol...She is sooooo cute I could just eat her with a spoon!!!

Then we went on the Tower of Terror - me, Bonnie & Dad! I was soo nervous about going on it! SO AFRAID! But it was AWESOME!!!! I wish we would of had the time to have done it again! When we got up to the top, me and Dad were waving, Bonnie was supposed to be too - but she was terrified! She was trembling in her seat when it was over!

We saw the "It's a Bug Life" 3d show. These were the 3d glasses we had to wear. It was a cute show...And fun glasses, eh??? lol

We also saw the "Block Party Bash" parade that morning. It was fun! GOOD MUSIC! And the worst part of all - Bonnie and I got pulled into it and we had to dance!!! It was sooo embarrasing! It's all Bonnie's fault, she admitted, she looked the dancer guy in the eye!! STUPID BONNIE!

So right before lunch, Bonnie and I rode the California Screamin Rollercoaster! It was AWESOME!!!! Very, very enjoyable! And then we walked back to New Orleans Square in Disneyland to meet Mom & Dad at the Blue Bayou for lunch! (Our Valentine's gift to them!) It was good! We also attended the Aladdin show - IT WAS PHENOMENAL!!! Well worth the trip alone! Disney is amazing at what they do! We were all BLOWN AWAY! That afternoon Bonnie & I got our hairwraps done and I headed back to the hotel, while Bonnie went back to the parks to do MORE shopping. I was sooooo sore! I now have muscles in my legs I never knew I had!!! AMAZING!

Bonnie and I headed back to the park later on that afternoon and rode a few more rides - we did 'Big Thunder Mountain' Rollercoaster 3 times in a row!!! IT WAS SOOO MUCH FUN! I could ride that coaster all day - Word of Advice - It's much more enjoyable riding in the back! REMEMBER THAT!

That evening we saw the Fantasmic show with Mom and Dad. It was wonderful - but it was soo cold outside!

We left Mom & Dad and headed back to California Adventure to ride Soarin - a ride that was okay. I didn't want to go on it, but Bonnie wanted to go on it really bad.

After that me and Bonnie road Pinocchio, Snow White, Peter Pan, and Mr. Toad's Wild Ride again. We also did Buzzlightyear again where Bonnie whipped my butt!!! We also road the Indiana Jones ride again - I really enjoyed that one!! Gets your blood pumping!!!


Bonnie also really wanted to ride Splash Mountain - which frightens me to no end - I didn't want to do it, so we walked across the park to get there - at 11:30 and it was CLOSED! Well I called it a night! But we HAD to make our last stop - King Arthur's Carosel...It was a great way to finish the night. Bonnie pretty much had to drag me back to the hotel!!! I could only feel my legs from the pains shooting up them!

So Tuesday morning we had a lovely breakfast at Hook's Pointe and we were off to the airport! We arrived home at 11 PM. Boy - that 2 hour time difference really sucks!!! But it's good to be home!!! And it's fun to relive all the memories looking at souveniers and pictures!!! It really is the happiest place on earth!

I can still smell the churros!! lol...mmmmmmmmm SOO GOOD! And an interesting tid bit we learned - Coca Cola has less calories in the states - b/c it has less sugar - But you know what? I don't like it - tastes too much like Pepsi without that bit of sugar!! lol...Who would have thought!?




Oh yah - to see more pictures of the trip - please check out Bonnie's blog. Here link is there on the right!

TAG LINE: What if Peter Pan grew up?

Okay, so tonight we watched the movie 'Hook' - starring Robin Williams as Peter ("Pan the Man"), Dustin Hoffman as Hook and, of course, Julia Roberts as Tink! (What fun Julia's kids will have watching this movie in a few years, don't ya think?)

Everytime I watch it I can't get over Dustin's performance as Hook - it's amazing!

And I cannot forget our favorite character Rufio ("Mr. Punk head with too much mousse") - King of the Lost Boys after Pan's absense.
Rufio! Rufio! RU-FI-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOh

We were curious if it ever won any awards - I researched, found it won a few - mostly no name awards...Although Julia Roberts won the 1992 Razzie award for Worst Supporting Actress...lol - kinda sad...

I really love that Hook's bed lowers down from the ceiling to cover the small pond in the ship - BRILLIANT!

So in honor of this wondrous movie I'd like to share some favorite trivia and quotes that I have come across on the internet.
Oh yah - by the by - would you believe there are no images of this movie on the internet? I AM OUTRAGED!!!
Alright - here are some interesting tidbits...I hope you enjoy!

Definition Time:
BANGARANG - Jamaican slang defined as a HUBBUB, UPROAR, DISORDER, or DISTURBANCE.

Trivia: When the Bannings fly to England, the pilot's voice is that of Dustin Hoffman (Captain Hook) -- "This is your captain speaking..."

Trivia: Carrie Fisher was Steven Spielberg's original prototype for Tinkerbell.
Trivia: The pirate shut in the chest with the scorpion was played by Glenn Close.

Trivia: The kissing couple who begin to float when some fairy dust lands on them are actually George Lucas and Carrie Fisher in a cameo.

Trivia: Robin Willams 's upper body and arms were shaved for his role in the film.

Quote:
Peter Banning: You're a... you're a complex Freudian hallucination having something to do with my mother and I don't know why you have wings, but you have very lovely legs and you're a very nice tiny person and what am I saying, I don't know who my mother was; I'm an orphan and I've never done drugs because I missed the sixties, I was an accountant.
Tinkerbell: Guess again.

Quote:
Tinkerbell: You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you, Peter Pan. That's where I'll be waiting.

Quote:
Pockets, Lost Boy: [the Lost Boys don't believe Peter Banning is Peter Pan, but Pockets touches his face and finally recognizes him] Oh, there you are, Peter!

Quote:
Rufio: Lookie Lookie, I've got Hookie.




I hope if you have never seen this movie before that you'll go out and rent it!

BANGARANG!

California! California! Here we come...

Sorry Bon, but that has been my title since we found out we were going to California. It's finally this day!!!! The day before we leave for California!!! I am soo darn excited i'm just hoping I can still concentrate on things that matter (haha) today at work!

And i'm also hoping i can fall asleep tonight - without making myself sick with excitement! Although we have to wake up super early to catch our flight at 7:25! I'm getting nervous just thinking about flying! But it'll be fun to fly with the sis! (maybe)

I still have to pack my suitcase!!! Haha... you're thinking - kinda leaving things til the last minute, aren't ya? Well, maybe, but i have planned everything out on paper - it's just a matter of putting things into the suitcase. It's all good...

So friday we head to Fresno...go to the rehearsal dinner...and Saturday - the wedding...Then we take a 4 1/2 hour drive back to LA and go to Disneyland!!!! Where we are staying at the Disneyland Hotel!!! We have never stayed at one of the resorts before!!! Very, very exciting!


Like look how pretty it looks!!???? Isn't it beautiful!?

I am sooo excited to see the palm trees - the beautiful palm trees! Get my hair wrapped! Ride all the rides at Disneyland/California Adventure!! Yipee!!!!

Oh, and we are also taking Mom & Dad out for dinner at the Blue Bayou - that's the restaurant in the middle of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Bonnie's choice... but never done that before - so it should be alot of fun!!!

Alright people!
This is my last day of work!!! I'm excited! And it will probably be the longest day of my life! And you know what makes it even better?? That tomorrow they are calling for a high of -29 / -40 with the windchill!!! Thank goodness I won't have to experience that!

I will definitely be writing an update when I return - with pictures!!!