Val's Munchies

When someone offers you a tic tac - take it. I want to grab life by the crack and lick all the crap out of it! (thanks Barney! lol) I love spending time with my wonderful, loving family, learning more and more each day about my gracious, loving God! I guess I want to start using this blog not only for the crazy things that happen to me, but to share my journey with the Lord...Welcome to my life!

Friday, March 24, 2006

Chuck Norris Facts

I know, i know...by the title, you are probably asking yourself - what the heck is Val blogging about now!!! Well I'll tell you.

When i got to work this morning, one of the guys from the shop handed me a couple pieces of paper and said - read this. So i did...They were Chuck Norris Facts. LOL...Absolutely hilarious. So i visited the website - www.chucknorrisfacts.com - and so I decided to share with you my favorite Chuck Norris Facts. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.



1. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
2. There is no chin under Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
3. Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.
4. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
5. Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
6. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
7. What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.
8. Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
9. A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
10. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
11. The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
12. Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
13. Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
14. Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
15. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
16. Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.
17. When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
18. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
19. Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
20. In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
21. Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
22. Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
23. Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
24. Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
25. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
26. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
27. Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.
28. Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
29. A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer
30. Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.
31. Chuck Norris was what Willis was talkin' about.
32. Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
33. Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time.
34. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
35. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
36. July 4th is Independence day. And the day Chuck Norris was born. Coincidence? i think not.
37. Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires.
38. They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.
39. One time, at band camp, Chuck Norris ate a percussionist.
40. The pen is mighter than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris.

Okay...had enough yet?? I think 40 is enough! But please go to that website and have a laugh!

My new office

I just thought i would share with you a couple pictures of my new office... It's pretty nice - at least they aren't white walls!


Here's my desk... got everything I need - computer, phone, my organizer!



Here is my favorite part of my desk - My 3 most favorite things:
Radio - music,
Palm trees,
and
lotion! I always need my lotion!!!



And now for the best part! The view!
Here is the view from my office door...



haha... Just joking - it's not the best part...but it really is my view.